


My Clarity

by Suzzysnips



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, How Do I Tag, I Love You, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14827785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzzysnips/pseuds/Suzzysnips
Summary: An (accidental) breakthrough has happened on Homeworld.The first male gem.But things don't go well for the poor gem as he's at the butt of everyone's joke and can be treated badly by everyone. Luckily though there is one gem that treats the male gem nicely, and that gem is Blue Diamond. But as this is going on Yellow and White Diamond are trying to figure out a use for this gem (and other male gems).What will they decide?And will this work in the male gem's favor?





	1. Prologue

**Log Date: 8 21 0**

_Uhh….hi….umm….sorry if I stammer a lot during this, I kinda just formed and crawled out of the ground. So…..everything is kinda new to me and I’m just trying to process everything. So….I guess I introduce myself? Well let’s start with how I look…..yeah! How I look that sounds about right, okay umm…well…I have blueish-indigo colored skin._

_Uhh…..I got large purple eyes….and…and purple spiky hair. Uh….oh right! I have a topaz gem on my leg but it’s tinted purple like an amethysts. And umm….there’s also one more thing….I….well….I’m…I’m….I’m the first male gem! Oh clod, so embarrassing! Why did I blurt that out loud!?_

_Oh stars help me I better not say anything like that in front of the diamonds! I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said it that loud, so….ummm…anyway….yeah I’m the first male gem! And to clarify I’m gonna meet the diamonds yellow, blue, **AND** White! So….uhh….if I don’t come back you’ll know that I….that I screwed up. Bye._

* * *

I closed my holopad and set my holopen down on it, and put both items on the ground. I looked around my….what was it those guys called it? Oh right! Room! Yeah, so I looked around my room and it was decorated and filled with things that we’re from a place called Earth.

Okay so there is a sapphire blue carpet on the floor…..and there is two white armchairs on the carpet. And…..umm....there’s a blue blanket draped over one of the chairs……and the walls we’re pure white….and I think that’s it. I wasn’t really sure what to do as I climbed onto the armchair with the blanket and wrapped myself in it. Suddenly though I heard one of the doors slide open and I looked to see an Aquamarine walked in with Yellow and Blue Diamond. Of colds it’s them!

I’ve only been around for well not even one sun cycle! I didn’t expect them to bring the big gems today! I quickly scrambled to my feet ignoring the blanket that fell off the chair.

“Umm….he-hello m-my clarities! I-It’s very nice t-to finally co-converse with you.” I stammered trying my best not to squirm in place, Yellow and Blue Diamond didn’t respond however as they just…..looked at me. The aquamarine looked back at them with her eyes a nervous expression on her face. I found myself shaking as I shifted and squirmed in place, of clod was it something I had said!? Oh clod it is something I had said! I’m going to get shattered, I don’t want to get shattered!

I could feel moisture build in my eyes as I tried to keep my breathing in a steady rhythm.

 _‘Don’t you dare cry! Don’t you dare! Your in front of the diamonds, you can’t cry in front of them!’_ My mind screamed at me, but apparently my body didn’t get the memo as tears began to pour from my eyes. I whimpered as I felt the most humiliation I had ever felt in me short existence. The aquamarine glared at me causing me to squirm even more, what did she think I could do!? Hadn’t she seen me trying not to cry!? But that didn’t matter anymore as I down on my hands and knees and began to grovel and beg.

This only added to my humiliation and discomfort but I had to do something to please my clarities, it couldn’t end this way!

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m _so **so**_ sorry! Wha-Whatever I did to offe-offend you I’ll make it up I promise! I’ll do anything!” I begged, more tears leaking from my eyes. Yellow and Blue Diamond still said nothing as I waited tensely for anything to happen, my head told me to scream and runaway but I couldn’t. And I means this I physically couldn’t, I couldn’t move from the fear I felt! Finally Yellow Diamond brought her thumb over to me and placed her appendage on my forehead. I looked straight into her cold eyes before electricity shot through her thumb.

It wasn’t a strong current in fact it appeared a bit weak, but that didn’t stop yellow lines to appear on my form as I didn’t dare scream out. Pain radiated through my body as I covered my mouth with my hand a small puddle of tears now forming on the carpet. Suddenly though the pain stopped and I reluctantly looked up with my eyes to see Yellow Diamond pulling her thumb back. It was then I saw Yellow Diamond give a pleased smile,

“Hmmm….I’m impressed no gem has taken any sort of punishment from me without begging for it to stop.” Yellow Diamond said, I didn’t dare speak holding my head to ground. But suddenly I felt my head being lifted I hesitantly looked up to see Blue Diamond using one of her giant fingers to lift my head.

“Your afraid aren’t you?” She said, and I nodded not knowing whether to speak or not. “ Why are you afraid?” Blue Diamond asked, I bit my lip taking that question as permission to speak.

“Yo-Your my diamonds of course, m-my clarities, Miss Blue, yo-Your both radiant beauties. A-And the ones that ru-rule Homeworld and gre-greenlighted the project to make m-me. I-I do-don’t just fear you, bu-but I respect you a-as well.” I stammered hoping I wasn’t still shaking, Blue Diamond studied me for a minute putting me in my previous seat handing me the blanket. I fiddled with the blanket in my hands biting my lip hard,

“…..Your different from what I expected…..I like that.” Blue Diamond said and I fought a smile as she stood to full height and walked over to Yellow Diamond and the aquamarine.

“Aquamarine 4X3, plan a little conference with him and I, three days from today.” Blue Diamond said,

“Yes, my clarity.” The Aquamarine said looking at relieved as I felt. The two then turned around to leave but Yellow Diamond didn’t appear to be ready.

“I’ll see myself out when I am ready.” Yellow Diamond said, and Blue Diamond shot one last look at me before leaving. And that left me in the same room with Yellow Diamond. I gulped wishing I could tear my eyes away from her cold stare.

“Do you have any questions?” Yellow Diamond said and I shook my head no, having a feeling I should keep my thoughts to myself (at least around Yellow Diamond). Yellow Diamond seemed pleased with my answer, “Good, and remember this, you are at the bottom of the social pyramid. You will listen to what your told to do, you won’t talk unless you are spoken to, and you will accept any treatment or punishment anyone gives you. Understand?” She said. And I nodded already knowing two of the things she had just told me (granted I had learned those two things about a minute ago but I still knew them). Yellow Diamond then walked out the door without another word and I already knew more then I did then minutes ago. I quickly ran over to my holopad and sat back in the armchair before turning to a page a beginning to write.

* * *

**Log Date: 8 21 0**

_Just met the diamonds and I nearly poofed out of terror! The diamonds are giant and they have this sense of regal-ness to them. Blue Diamond is terrifying yet I respect her more then I fear her. And Yellow Diamond…..well I fear her more then I respect her. So….just in case I’m gonna write down a list of do’s and don’ts._

_• Do listen to what your told to do._

_• Don’t talk unless you are spoken to._

_• Do accept any treatment or punishment anyone gives you._

_• Don’t cry in front of the Diamonds._

_• Do beg and grovel in front of the Diamonds (if I’ve done something go upset them)._

_• Don’t tell Yellow Diamond what your thinking or feeling._

_• Do tell Blue Diamond what your thinking or feeling._

_• Do call the Diamonds “my diamond”, “my clarity”, “radiant beauties”, “miss”, etc._

_Alright, that is all for now, but I do wonder where White Diamond is….but I better consider myself lucky. If Yellow Diamond is as cold and distant as she is then….I can only imagine what White Diamond was like. But enough about that, I think Blue Diamond likes me (unlike Yellow Diamond) cause she said something about a conference with just her and I in three days. But just in case, unless she tells me otherwise, I’m gonna try to treat her with as much respect as possible._


	2. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Diamond visits me for the first time....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading my story and getting it to over 100 hits! Tell your friends about my story! Let's get to 200! You all are awesome!

**Log Date: 8 24 0**

_It hurts._

_It hurts so much._

_After the Diamonds had left that Aquamarine had come back in with another gem who held a whip of some sort. When they left I ended up spending the rest day crying until everything just went dark. I have no idea what happened but….something happened. I ended up opening my eyes again to find those two we’re standing over me again. Right now I feel very sore but it’s better then how I felt before. But that’s all I can write for now, everything hurts. I’m sorry, maybe I’ll write something tomorrow._

* * *

I closed my holopad putting my holopen on it, I hissed in pain as I sat up and stuffed the items underneath the cushion of the armchair I was sitting in. I then laid back down holding me blanket tightly. I felt my eyelids fall as darkness came into my vision again. I have no idea why this keeps happening but I just let it happen, I always feel better when I open my eyes again. But just as my eyelids fell I heard the door open and I felt my body tense up, I knew it was them.

“Get up.” I heard the Aquamarine say, I did as I was told sitting up and turning to face them. I shook not daring to speak, but mentally I let out a sigh of relief as I saw the second gem was gone. But in replace of the second gem I saw that the Aquamarine was holding a gem destabilizer. I whimpered seeing this,

“Listen good because this is your one shot to get this right. Blue Diamond is on her way and you need to change your clothes and nothing else. I’m going to use this on you and when I do I need you to concentrate on just changing your clothes and keeping your physical appearance. Got it?” the Aquamarine said and I frantically nodded. “Good, and when you change your clothes you need to have something loose-fitting yet restricting on your wrists, neck, and waist. Understand?” She finished and I once again nodded, then without another word the Aquamarine shoved the gem destabilizer into me. Indescribable pain shot through me and I couldn’t scream as I felt my physical form dissipate. I made sure to focus on changing my outfit and keeping my physical appearance the same just like the Aquamarine had ordered.

I prayed that I was gonna get it right.

* * *

I slowly felt my new form taking shape as I focused on nothing but my new look. Finally, once I was satisfied, my new form solidified. I landed on my armchair seat with a thud and I looked at Aquamarine expectantly.

“Adequate.” The Aquamarine said, and I almost smiled from the weight I felt lifted off my shoulders. I then used to moment to look at myself and saw I had done everything right, I still physically looked the same but my clothes we’re different. I now wore a black jumpsuit and I had a thick metal neck collar loosely around my neck and matching restraints on my wrists and waist. Once I was done I looked up to see the Aquamarine put her destabilizer back in her gem and pulled out a length of chains. She connected the chains to the restraints on my wrists and pulled them as if to test them.

She looked satisfied with the results and as she left the room she spoke.

“You better not mess this up.” The Aquamarine then shut the door and left me in frightened silence, suddenly the door opened and I saw Blue Diamond for split second before I lowered my head down. I felt myself begin to shake,

“You know, you don’t have to be afraid.” Blue Diamond said. I bit my lip too afraid to speak, Blue Diamond lifted my head and I began to squirm in place as I locked eyes with her. But even as I squirmed I didn’t dare try to break free from the Diamond, she could do anything she wanted to me and I’d have to go through with it. She looked straight into my eyes those blue orbs sparkling in thought before she took me by surprise and started to scratch my hair (and my scalp). I squeaked feeling a chill go up my spine and I felt my body and mind relax, I felt my eyes begin to grow heavy as I rested my head on one of her fingers.

Eventually my eyes shut my world going dark as I could make out Blue Diamond humming.

My eyes snapped open and I woke up being placed on my armchair as my blanket was placed over me. I looked up to see Blue Diamond and for a second we locked eyes before I look away very ashamed. I wasn’t sure whether I should’ve apologized or not as tears crept into my eyes.

“Don’t cry, it’s okay, here have this.” Blue Diamond said before pulling a weird, squishy-looking, yellow block out of her gem. I looked at it oddly before she handed it to me. I’m not sure why but I felt like I needed to put it in my mouth. I gulped and looked up at Blue Diamond for a split second before taking a bite. I shuttered at the taste as the yellow block piece I had bitten melted in my mouth.

It tasted very sweet and tangy and before I knew what I was doing I took bigger bites, I couldn’t understand why but I wanted more! I heard Blue Diamond giggle and I felt my cheeks burn as she went back to scratching my hair and scalp.

* * *

**???’s POV**

Yellow Diamond and I watched from the holomoniter as Blue Diamond and that…..thing bonded. It disgusted me but the thing responded positively to the cubic treats. We would have to make more and issue them to the gems watching that creature.

“I don’t believe it.” Yellow said,

“Told you, this creature should be of good use for the ideas I have planned. And be sure to convince Blue to take that thing around a trip of Homeworld.” I said. Yellow’s eyes widened as a look of horror came over her face,

“You can’t be serious! That thing walking around Homeworld!” She said.

“Don’t worry Yellow, I know what I’m doing.” I said,

“….Alright, need anything else?” Yellow said as she got up and walked towards the doors.

“Make sure to create more of those treats, if this is the work out the thing must be happy to prevent rebellion.” I said and Yellow nodded,

“Of course, White.” She replied before leaving me with my thoughts.


	3. Dog Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! I'm over 200 hits baby! Let's go for 300! Your all wonderful!

**Log Date: 8 28 0**

_I miss Blue Diamond._

_Every day I wake up to some form of pain or humiliation._

_Like today, for some reason the other gems keep making me do things on the first day they showed me some picture of an earth creature called a kitten. They made me study the picture for a hour and told me to redo my form but I had to make myself look cuter and give myself the kitten ears, nose, whiskers, and tail along with more hair on my head. At first I was embarrassed by this I didn’t want to change my form again especially to something looking so weak and defenseless, but they whipped me until I agreed to do it. They destabilized me and after a day or so I came back out and the other gems judged me to see my form. They then gave me a picture of a puppy and told me to do the same thing, I hesitated at this but they whipped me again making me agree again._

_They destabilized me and after another day I came back and they jugged my form again. They then gave me a picture of a bunny and told me to do it again but with all the bunny features, this time I didn’t fight and they smiled wickedly before destabilizing me and I did the process all over again. When I came back out they judged my form and left most likely to decide which form I was to stay in. After a few hours they came back and told me I would stay in the puppy form. I remember my face had heated up hearing that on the puppy form I had given myself a big, curly, and fluffy tail._

_And not only that but I had made my ears and hair fluffy as well and I had a big wet puppy nose. It was my second least favorite of the three forms (my favorite being the kitten and my least favorite being the bunny) do I had hoped maybe they’d chose the cat but of course with my luck I got the puppy well at least it wasn’t the bunny that’s got I got to say. But apparently that wasn’t it they had apparently voted for a name for me behind my back! I was surprised when I heard this and they told me my name, from now on, would be Chip. I actually liked the name (but I didn’t let them know that) but just when I started to mentally celebrate my name they pulled me back to reality with a crack of a whip._

_They told me that when I made my puppy form I’d get rid of the shackles for a purple collar with my name imprinted on it and a leach connected to it. I blushed at this but I nodded not wanting to disobey, then they destabilized me again and I imagined my form making sure it was perfect. I came back in a few hours this time around and I saw the other gems judging eyes on me before accepting my new form. They told me to keep this form even if I was poofed or there’d be consequences. I gulped and nodded as they left and it was then I saw that the armchairs I has precisely sat in we’re replaced with circular, small, plush beds that we’re around my size._

_Luckily though my blanket was on one of the beds along with a green cubic treat. I was embarrassed but I begrudgingly laid in the bed taking a bite of my cubic treat and that’s all that’s all that happened until right up to now. I really don’t see the point in any of this except for causing me shame and discomfort._

_But I know better then to disobey._

* * *

I hid my holopad and holopen away under my small bed before curling up on my bed under the covers. Admittedly the bed was very comfy but I was still embarrassed by it, it felt demeaning to sleep on the bed for some reason. Recently though I’ve come to realize that my tail reacts to how I’m feeling, mostly though my tail has been in between my legs wagging slightly so I take it that means I’m worried or scared which is very true. Speaking of my tail it’s taking a bit to get used to including my ears and nose and on occasion I can’t help but worry what Blue Diamond will think of me when (or if) she comes back. But suddenly I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard the door slide open and was terrified and embarrassed to see Blue Pearl, I knew her because the other gems had told me that she was kinda like Blue Diamonds’s servant.

I have to admit I’m kinda jealous of her she gets to spend every waking moment with Blue Diamond, it’s not fair! But other then my jealousy I actually find her pretty cute (not that I’d ever tell her that) she seems so delicate too but I knew our first interaction would be awkward and I was unfortulently right. Blue Pearl and I locked eyes and both of us blushed looking down at the floor. I tensed up as she approached and I spared a quick glance to see she was in the same boat her muscles we’re tense and she was apprehensive as she took my leach. I bit my lip not knowing if I should speak,

“Umm….I’m taking you to Blue Diamond….Chip.” Blue Pearl said and I felt nearly numb with fear as I realized I was going to be outside this room. I didn’t want to go but when I felt a sharp tug on my leach I obeyed and followed Blue Pearl. My tail began to shake as my ears went flat against my scalp I watched in fear as the door automatically slide open and I was met by blindingly white walls. I cringed looking at anything other then the walls and it seemed Blue Pearl felt the same way as she let out an audible groan of pain. She walked our into the hallway and I saw gems of all colors and sizes (mainly quartz and white gems) walking to different places and rooms.

When they saw me however a few gems gave me looks for disgust, mockery, or (in the quartz’s case) looks of apprehension. I gulped feeling very afraid but Blue Pearl didn’t seem to notice (or care about) my feelings as she kept pulling me along. But as we walked down the halls gems would hit me (mainly on the back of my head or my butt) and they’d do it _hard_. It caused me to let out squeaks of pain and eventually tears of pain and humiliation began to leak from my eyes. I felt even more shame crying in front of all these other gems but I couldn’t help it, I felt like I needed to cry.

I didn’t know whether Blue Pearl was aware of this but I decided I didn’t want to go. Eventually though we got to the biggest pair of doors and as they opened I was momentarily blinded, once my vison was clear I finally saw homeworld. Homeworld appeared to have a smooth crystal-like ground or surface as it was mainly white with specs of color far and in between. I groaned at this, seriously is this entire planet made to blind it’s inhabitants or something!? But my momentary annoyance was cut short when Blue Pearl turned to me and I quickly looked away.

Blue Pearl turned her head back and began to lead me down the stairs as the doors shut, and it was then I saw that all the buildings appeared to be made of a smooth crystal-like structure. The buildings we’re every color of the rainbow and I was glad for that I was getting sick of white, what I didn’t like however was all the gems walking around the planet and how they treated me. They were _worse_ then the other ones, I swear a few amethysts or jaspers whipped my back and I had to cover my mouth to muffle my screams. I looked over to Blue Pearl and I realized she had picked up her pace obviously she wasn’t liking this attention. Thankfully it didn’t take long for us to reach a tall blue building, Blue Pearl tugged on my leach and I quickly followed her up the stairs.

Once again the doors opened automatically opened and I was pulled into the building, the door shut behind us and I was met with blue walls (thank goodness for that too). But my relief didn’t last long as I felt myself wilt under the gazes of blue gems and quartz. The gems however didn’t hurt me the most they did was glare at me, but that still was enough to make me nervous. I looked straight at the floor as Blue Pearl led me to the highest room in the building (I knew this because I was forced to climb up several flights of stairs). Eventually though we got to the biggest set of doors and Blue Pearl had to enter a code in some keypad and the doors opened.

Blue Pearl pulled me in and she forced me to sit on the floor before letting go of leach and pulling a bag of something out of her gem.

“The diamonds have issued more of these cubic treats to be made this is the newest version and should be the permanent version from now on. I was informed to give these to you if you behave yourself and in my eyes you have, so here.” Blue Pearl said as she gave me the bag, I looked at her for a moment before looking in the bag. I licked my lips seeing six cubic treats I reached inside and pulled out a brown one. I took a bite and was pleasantly surprised to see the inside was now more creamy, and I now had the option of chewing it or swallowing the piece whole. I decided to chew it wanting to taste my cubic treat and it was sweet. I began to take bigger bites liking thus cubic treat a lot more then the original, my tail began to wag and my ears perked up but I didn’t care I just wanted more.

I looked over to Blue Pearl who was standing at attention I then looked around the room and saw a large pair of doors. I gulped forcing myself to speak,

“Um….where’s Blue Diamond?” I asked and Blue Pearl opened her mouth to speak but suddenly the back door opened and we both tensed up going silent. I squeaked and Blue Pearl stood up straight as Yellow Diamond and Yellow Pearl walked in.

“Stay here, Pearl.” Yellow Diamond ordered,

“Yes, my diamond.” Yellow Pearl replied before standing next to Blue Pearl. The pearl gave me an unsure look as Yellow Diamond passed by I began to shake as the diamond passed by me, I could feel her eyes trained on me.

“Do you like your new cubic treats?” Yellow Diamond asked, I couldn’t look her in the eyes as I looked down at the floor.

“Ye-Yes luminous Yellow Di-Diamond.” I stammered and I could practically see Yellow Diamond smiling at this, my eyes flickered over to Yellow and Blue Pearl and I saw them eyeing me with looks of surprise. I blushed and flinched as I heard a door shut, I then looked over to the front door seeing that Yellow Diamond had gone in the room.

“I’m impressed a gem of your status actually knows how to greet a diamond.” Yellow Pearl said,

“Ho-How can I not know how she’d shatter me for any form of disrespect.” I stammered before going quiet. But out of the corner of my eyes I saw Yellow and Blue Pearl had sympethtic looks in their eyes, I didn’t say anything but I was surprised, they knew how I felt. I took a bite of my cubic treat and swallowed just before the door back door opened. I began to shake again while Blue and Yellow Pearl stood at attention. But in reality all of us we’re looking to see who else was entering the room but all of us we’re horrified and stunned to see White Pearl enter the room.

White Pearl had long pure white hair in a ponytail, with ghostly white skin, her eyes we’re black, and she wore a white dress the upper hair was made of solid fabric while the lower half was made of lace that gracefully slide against the floor. But I don’t think any of us really paid attention to White Pearl as we all could feel very subtle vibrations in the floor and could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. That signified fear and horror through mine, Blue, and Yellow Pearl’s senses because we all knew what was happening.

White Diamond was coming.


End file.
